A quick search over my dishwater dull social media presence – is a very boring search indeed. Not to pretend I float across the earth in lotus pose – I ain’t no zenny pretzel – but I’ve made it my mission to keep the contents of my brain off public forums. Which at first was a massive struggle, but for me personally – adding more frustrations to an already frustrated and frazzled zone – probably won’t benefit anyone.
Not because I’m a coward, but because we’re creating, reacting and generating a sludgy cyclone of negativity every time we read, watch or hear something we do or don’t agree with and not just online.
I loathe running in all forms, but I will sprint like an Olympic champion to turn off anything resembling panels of humans dishing out random opinions on any channel. I rarely watch current affair shows and silently struggle when my son watches mainstream tv as the loop of fear mongering, gossipy, finger pointing drone goes on and on.
I rarely check some platforms and am mindful of what I linger over on the ones I enjoy. These days (and if I wasn’t trying to forge a career that relies on online sales) I’d be happy to delete most of them in order to protect my mental well-being. Which sucks because these spaces are an awesome way to virtually hang with family and friends, plus there is some amazing content and exceptionally creative and beautiful humans out there too. But the amount of rubbish you have to wade through in order to get to the good is overwhelming.
When I do interact online I’m generally sharing happiness and hilarity. Like a funny bone fairy.
I would be a crap troller or public naysayer on any level. Observing the smear campaigns to drag those who do stand up or have different opinions to others is nothing short of petrifying and enough to freeze my fingers from tapping what I feel is my “right” to say.
The point, the issue, the topic, the tragedy, the triumph, the gossip, the oversharing, the good, the bad, the wretched… etc becomes lost in the rush to get an opinion out because everyone feels and therefore is – entitled to give it.
But, when multiplying that surge of irritation, anger, sorrow, fear, betrayal, hatred, defensiveness etc, no matter if your intentions come from good or bad, attack or protect – times that by hundreds and thousands of people who see/read/hear/comment/troll – no matter their stance – that is a huge mass of energy full of heavy emotions with no release, closure or solution. It’s road raging in the safety of the home setting, loose strings flapping about and nothing good coming from it other than a monumental, negatively charged force.
As much as I admire many women and men who speak out against online bullying – there is no way I would want to be in their shoes, carrying such a heavy burden of constantly trying to stamp out fires and redirect everyone to a positive flame.
So, until I am required to draw that level of courage and public stance, the comments section stays off. And at the core of it (and sadly) the old saying that gets thrown around way too frequently these days suitably fits –
Which is a bit of a trust killer and as mentioned, I’m not a one with the universe pretzel yet and still roam around a little weary of others. Which is also sad. By shutting that door is to shut off beautiful camaraderie, exciting conversation and emergence of positive thoughts and ideas.
For now I’m erring on the side of caution and apologise for essentially cutting myself off – especially as an emerging author looking to connect people to my world, my works and myself.
This is how things used to be not so long ago. We weren’t all on tap. I actually find it refreshing to just read and not be expected to engage. Kind of like a cord phone attached to the wall that limits how far you can go and what you can say with eavesdropping family around. It’s a safe guard for all parties.
This is also not a cop out. I’m not trying to avoid being called out on opinions, or being corrected, or avoiding helpful hinters or just rational people who want to contribute in a rational manner. I’m not hiding from critique. Clearly I am an amateur writer and healthy critique is important.
But there’s a fine line between critique and opinion and trolling and I honestly don’t have the time, nor the energy for unnecessary debate or a cruel kick in the confidence nuts – which I’ll no doubt have all that to look forward to soon enough, via So You Are… Pregnant!
If people feel like they want to comment in the yay or the nay, subscribe to the email list or PM with abandon.
It’s just not happening here.
As much as it’s a sacrifice the risk of random trolling is too high and I won’t contribute to it by shining a light on, nor encouraging the generation of sinister, hateful shit.
So comments are off.
Kindness is on.