Chapter 71: Dear Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

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Dear Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

There was a time it was difficult for me to access knowledge. To serve self in any manner of evolvement – impossible. Your book Women Who Run With Wolves, like so many other bizarre forms of guidance that seemed to fall into my lap at the exact moment I needed them, had been on my radar for some time. I tried repeatedly to get my hands on a copy, but it wasn’t to be. So I handed the reigns over to fate in the hopes I would one day read your words when I really needed to.

The book gods answered luring me to a second hand bookshop and lo and behold there you were. Bold, commanding, standing on display for all to see – a little weathered – but there. For me! The funky youth at the counter had a jaw-drop moment.

“Where did you find this? You have no idea how many requests we get for this book and when it comes in it flies out.”

I told her my tale. As she listened she wrapped the book in brown paper and string with meticulous care, then pushed it gently toward me, like it was the most precious gift I would ever receive.

“All the elements that lead to that book sitting there on that shelf, unnoticed by me or anyone else – were all for you. You were meant to come here today. How exciting the universe went to such great lengths to get the messages in this book to you. Wow. I’m really speechless by it all. Enjoy.”

I am a quarter of the way through your book – only because – nearly every sentence on every page resonates so deeply, I can only mentally handle reading it in short bursts. It is that powerful – for me.

I am so grateful I found it. I am so grateful you somehow whispered through the mess, staked yourself a plot in my mind and waited patiently for me to return. Warmed yourself by the nearly extinguished fire and waited for me to reawaken.

The lovely book girl was right – the possibilities of life after I read your words truly are exciting.

Thank you.

I have already dog-eared the shit out of the book. There are too many quotes to mention. Here is a poem I hope is alright to post here. I have also included a poem of my own below.


Poetry by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

How To Silence A Woman: Retrieving Her Voice

When someone says, “We’re saying the same thing.”
Say, “We are not saying the same thing.”
When someone says, “Don’t question, just have faith”
Say, “I am questioning vato, and I have supreme faith in what I think.”
When someone says, “Don’t defy my authority.”
Say, “There is a higher authority that I follow.”
When someone says, “Your ideas are seductive.”
Say, “No, my ideas are not seductive, they are substantial.”
When someone says, “Your ideas are dangerous”
Say, Yes, my ideas are dangerous, and why are you
so afraid hombre o mujer ?
When it is said, “It’s just not done.”
Say. “It will be done.”
When it is said, “It is immature”
Say, “All life begins small and must be allowed to grow.”
When it is said, “It’s not well thought out.”
Say, “It is well thought out.”
When they say, “You’re over-reacting.”
Say, “You’re under-reacting vato.”
When they say, “You’re being emotional.”
Say, “Of course I have well placed emotions, and by the way, what happened to yours?”
When they say, “You’re not making any sense.”
Say, “I don’t make sense, I am the sense.”
When they say, “I can’t understand you when you’re crying.”
Say. “Make no mistake, I can weep and be fierce at the same time.”
When they say, “I cant understand you when you’re being so angry.”
Say. “You couldn’t hear me when I was being nice, sweet or silent, either.”
When someone says, “You’re missing the point.”
Say, “I’m not missing the point, but you seem to be missing my point—
What are you so afraid of?”
When someone says, “You are breaking the rules.”
Say, “Yes, I am breaking the rules.”
When someone says, “That’s not practical.”
Say, “It’s practically a done deal, thank you very much.”
When it is said, “No one will do it, believe you, follow it.”
Say, “I will do it, I will believe in it, and in time, the world may well follow it.”
When it is said, “No one wants to listen to that.”
Say, “I know you have a hard time listening to that.”
When it is said, “It’s a closed system, you cant change it.”
Say, “I’m going to knock twice and if there is no answer,
then I am going to blow the doors off that system and it will change.
When it is said, “They’ll ignore you.”
Say, “They won’t ignore me and the 100s of thousands who stand with me.
When they say, “It’s already been done.”
Say, “It’s not been done well enough.”
When they say, “It’s not time yet.”
Say “It’s way past time.”
When they say, “It’s not the right day, right month, right year.”
Tell them, “The right year was last year,
and the right month was last month,
and the right day was yesterday,
and you’re running behind schedule vato,
and what in the name of God and all that is holy
are you going to do about it?”
When they say, “Who do you think you are?”—
tell them who you are, and don’t hold back.
When they say, “I put up with it, you’ll have to put up with it too.”
Say, “No, no,no,no.”
When they say, “I’ve suffered a long time and you’ll have to suffer too.”
Say, “No, no, no,no.”
When they say, “You’re an incorrigible,
defiant, hard to get along with,
unreasonable woman,
Say, “Yes, yes, yes, yes,
and I have worse news for you yet—
We are teaching our daughters,
our mothers,
and our sisters…
We are teaching our sons
our fathers,
and our brothers
to be
just
like
us.


By Molly Meary ©

Natural Law

why do you howl?
asked the forest of the wind
constant and incessantly
it never seems to end
With a clatter
and a snap
so brash and erupt
We air our concerns
yet you do not give up
We said – “lead like us”
showed you how to change
mentored and monitored
but still you stay the same
howling
scowling
volatile ghost
whipping about
perpetually morose
why don’t you conform?
tone down?
why are you permanently
scarred with a frown?

Forest…
spent an eon together
now my habit, once my friend
I fear our toxic timing
is nearing an end
Convinced without you
too weak to cope
too useless, too reliant
no purpose
no hope
But in lonely travels
made my way back to the sea
across the plains and mountains
brought me back to me
They whispered ever slowly
inner within-ness it did stir
they whispered ever softly

we remember who you were
take our salty wake up

take our comforting air
take our earthly courage
for you we truly care

whilst high upon the cloud tops
as I floated all alone
wispy bliss so peaceful
could not hear you moan
Manipulations deflating
noise makers too
not as abrupt
but I hear what you do

none of that is happening
what rubbish you do speak
more nonsensical censoring
such madness your tongue leaks
always angry, always belligerent
always looking for someone to blame
Our ruptures exist because of you
and your same will forever be insane…

No.
I am more than this
Your noise proves
you know it
actions reek of fear
disdain does show it
i move you
i shake you up
’tis me who sets you free
i give you life
i give you growth
none is possible
without me

then we ask you again
why do you howl?
manically
erratically
with a temper
quite foul

Impossible to live a life
impossible to thrive
smothered and snuffed
existing un-alive
morphed into another
self I barely know
uptight and irritable
because I cannot go
I cannot be a truth
the one you see invisible
the one you find intolerable
the one you think so critical
you cannot see your cliché
through your very trees
nothing will ever be enough
but
I can be enough for me.
I howl for I am unlimited
my story wide and vast
like the flower fields
and the oceans
I awaken to all at last.
So I will howl a new tune
to forgive and to yield
and shift as the sun so brightly
in the light of one who is healed.

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